byshinyobjects

 Ummm...

Okay, I'm pretty much addicted to fanfiction now.  If I ever get really brave I'll post links to mine *cringe*.  

I've been noticing a trend in twilight fanfic, though - at least half the stories are pretty much verbal porn.  I'm actually okay with that - I was surprised at first (never knowing about fanfiction until January of this year), but now I get it.  It's porn for women.  Guys need visuals, women need story and emotion - check.

I'm a little amused at the theme that emerges when I look at the vampire/NC-17/no-Reneesme genre(?!) as a whole, though:
I don't think my gay friends would be offended at this, so I hope I'm not being generally offensive, but...

Twilight could really be a gay man's perfect fantasy.  Stay young forever.  Thin forever.  Athletic forever.  Well-dressed forever.  And lots of sex.  Insatiable sex.  In lots of different positions.  With lots of different body parts.  Forever.  

Heck, even with Reneesme, with her hyper-accelerated growth and maturation, she'll pretty much be out of the house and gone in less than ten years.  Then it's back to Happy F*cking Forever.  

More evidence of my insanity: I noticed these comments in KS's interviews, and cared enough to post them here ;->.

I believe Kristen Stewart when she says she's only read Twilight and not the rest of the books in the series.  

With that in mind, her understanding of her character is a little freaky precognitive.  

http://ifmagazine.com/feature.asp?article=3085

Think part 3 of Breaking Dawn…

and…

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/entertainmentnewsbuzz/2008/11/twilight-coun-3.html

[Rob Pattinson]: "The big scene where they try and kiss and he goes crazy, it’s like the climax moment of their relationship. Well, not the climax, but it’s like a pivotal scene in the whole movie. And, actually, a lot of my preparation for the whole character was kind of leading up to that scene.

Kristen was really into Bella being a sadomasochist. ...

[interviewer] Really?!?!

[Rob]: Wait, not a sadomasochist! I mean a masochist (laughs). She was into that whole thing. She’d say, “Yeah, Bella just likes being hurt” (laughs). “Be really rough!”

and 

http://www.mtv.com/movies/news/articles/1585986/20080421/story.jhtml

MTV: Well, people want to know, Kristen: What's it like kissing Rob?

Pattinson: Whenever we kiss, I just try to kill her all the time.

I was actually a little unhappy when I first read this masochist/sadomasochist bit (told ya I got too invested ;->).  Then I realized Bella does end up covered in bruises on her honeymoon, but has only happy memories of the actual sex…

Like I said, freaky precognitive.  

Oh, and to anyone who is reading this journal because you came here from my Facebook page...  I swear I do other things than Twilight ;->.  I volunteer, work for my husband, play with my kids, play with my cats, remodel my house...

But I don't have many places to talk Twilight - even my husband looks -um-
chagrined (http://cleoland.pbwiki.com/Twilight#Chagrin) - 
when the subject comes up...

So I nearly made this journal private / invite only,
then decided I have to let out some crazy somewhere...

I think my friends will forgive the crazy, right?

;->

On November 22 my husband and I saw Twilight.  I'd been reading IMDB.com almost every day, and couldn't miss the Twilight banners.  I was half impressed, half appalled at the advertising glut.  I'd seen the entertainment "news" that Kristen Stewart "practically cast" Rob Pattinson (I can't find the IMDB bit, but here's a similar link http://twilight-movie.org/2008/11/07/catherine-talks-twilight-rob-at-ew-interview-part-2/).  On another site I read often, I had seen a bit go by about a leaked manuscript, Twilight from another character's point of view.  I loved Buffy and Angel.  I'm a sucker for teenage angst-y romance, and add vampires to the mix and I was sold.  

That was the extent of my knowledge of the book series and the movie.  I don't think I even saw a movie trailer.  

I loved the movie.  The next day (Sunday), I went looking for the manuscript online (http://stepheniemeyer.com/midnightsun.html).  I found out it was the love story from Edward's point of view.  I read it while my 2-year-old was sleeping.  When he woke up, I let him watch Thomas the Tank Engine so I could keep reading.  

That's when I caved and went to the grocery store and grabbed Twilight.  I read it all.  I don't think I slept.  Then I looked on Amazon, read the book summaries for the sequels, and read the top review for each book.  I decided Amazon book reviewers... didn't necessarily reflect my tastes in reading.  From the summaries, though, I wasn't all that interested in reading about Bella without Edward.  I went to the grocery store again, but the only other book available was New Moon.  I devoured it, and unlike Cleolinda (http://cleolinda.livejournal.com) and my expectations, New Moon turned out to be my favorite of the four.  I got Eclipse and Breaking Dawn from Amazon just as I was finishing New Moon.

My sleep was definitely suffering.  I read until 2 or 3am, then would suddenly be wide awake at 5am - so I would get out my flashlight and keep reading.  I have never woken up to read a book before in my life.  

Since I read Midnight Sun first, I could "hear" Edward all through Bella's narrative in the other books.  I'm fascinated that Stephenie Meyer really seemed to have Edward say and do things for his own reasons, and those reasons are not necessarily what Bella, the narrator, understands those reasons to be.  

So, on to obsession.   I've now seen the movie four times.  I've read all four books about a dozen times each.  I'm reading interviews with the actors and watching online video interviews of the actors - something I've never had patience with before - I can't even stand youtube.  I'm reading fanfiction *blush*.   

Then on New Year's Eve, the friend that I took to the movie sent me to Cleolinda's reviews (see my favorite bits in Twilight! I hate being late to this party!). 

Her reviews were so awesome that I woke up my husband I was laughing so hard.  I laughed so hard tears were pouring down my face.  So whenever I talk Twilight to anyone, I do my best to get them to read Cleolinda, too.  I actually started this livejournal account mainly to post my favorite Cleolinda snippets so I could stop cutting-and-pasting and just put all my Twilight obsession in one place.

Why am I so obsessed?  I'm not exactly sure.  Maybe I'll write more about it here if I figure it out.  But apparently - based on the frightening number of websites and articles and video - I'm not alone.  

Do I think Edward is the perfect guy?  Nope.  Do Bella and Edward have the perfect love?  Nope.  

But these books have got me reading again, something I haven't done much since college.  And I'm writing again, something I haven't done since high school.

So:  I am absolutely out of my fool goddamn mind, and I am going to own that shit. Self-destructive vampire love it is! (http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/639237.html)